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Digging Deeper & Candid Thoughts

Believe it or not, it’s been 40 days since life as we know it (at least in my home) has completely changed. I left work on March 13, 2020–didn’t get to say goodbye to my students, and have been thrown into a realm of distance learning, managing a home, and trying to keep myself as rational as possible. In short, behind the pretty Instagram and cutesy DIY recipes, and positive affirmations, I’m struggling in some ways.

I am trying to support my husband who is a cemetery worker and obviously deemed essential (and not doing a perfect job with that all the time), balancing the workload and emotions from high schoolers, and working to give my time to my sweet three year old who has an idea that something has changed, but he’s not sure what exactly. He knows we can’t really visit with his Grandparents, and he knows we can’t visit with friends and have playdates. He Facetimes with his friends and with my parents and in-laws, but because we are NOT really a screen house, he doesn’t quite see the allure of sitting in front of a laptop. I’m oddly proud of that to be honest, but it does make staying connected a different type of challenge.

I also recognize the extreme amount of privilege that I possess. I’m able to work from home, to teach my students and support them as best as I can while taking care of my son. I’m able to go grocery shopping and put food on the table. All three of us are healthy–we have a warm home, a kind dog, and an amazing network of support–and yet? I still feel completely lost at times. I question what I do, what I don’t do, and I have a hard time putting anyone else first with the exception of my child. I complain about new education mandates while forgetting that I’m safe in my home. Without the certainty of a schedule I’m struggling–while forgetting that schedules are fleeting and really quite meaningless.

Sometimes I forget that these are not normal times. But, I’m working on it. I’m moving my body, I’m getting outside with Leo, I’m using my oils, and I’m doing my best even if it doesn’t FEEL like my best. The future is so uncertain right now and each day feels like a new chance to cope with the state of our world in a positive way. I’m trying to do just that–and I hope you all are, too. Tell me how you’re doing! Much love & light to you. This too shall pass. <3

3 Comments

  1. It can’t believe how much time has passed. My last day of being at work was the same as yours. It is hard for us to adjust right now. However, we need to fight this together. We need to still keep our spirits up and still live our life. Hopefully things will improve overall for all of us. I agree with you – this too shall pass!!

    Nancy ♥ exquisitely.me

  2. My last day at work was April 4th but it seems so much longer. Sadly, my store has closed it’s store for good because the company had to make budget cuts due to the virus. I am able to go back to my original store so at least I still have a job.

    My little cousins were so upset because we’ve closed schools for the rest of the academic year. They miss their friends and teachers and never got to say goodbye. My cousin Maddie especially because she’s going to High School in the fall (hopefully). I can’t imagine how High School seniors must feel because they never get to graduate or attend prom. I feel bad for them.

    What a challenging time but we are all going through this together.

  3. We are at day 49 now since we had our first case in the province and day 42 since restrictions started. I left my job before this all so it hasn’t affected me that way and my hubby is considered essential because he works for Walmart. It’s a struggle and we’ve had such a bad month in other ways as well in my province so it’s been really tough. We miss our family. Times are tough but we will get through it together. One thing I have learned is my community and province are even more wonderful than I ever imagined and we really support each other, online at the moment, mostly facebook but the support is there! <3


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