Work, have a side hustle, drink water, look good, do all the things and be happy while doing them. Oh, and don’t forget to practice self care regularly while also making sure that your partner feels valued and wanted. If you’re also fulfilling the role of a student you should probably have really good grades too, while pursuing some type of artsy passion. And, if you’re a Mama? Make sure that your child’s social/emotional/physical health is being addressed as you foster their independence, but also make sure they don’t feel abandoned.
Was that over dramatic and poorly written? Maybe. Was it true? 100% yes. Whenever I talk with my colleagues or friends we all have one thing in common: we’re stressed out, burned out, and tired AF. How do we fix it? And how did we get here in the first place? I’m at a crossroads here. On the one hand, I think my generation needs to do all of the things mentioned above. Take care of ourselves, make sure we’re fulfilling our passions, and having fun. But, I also have a major problem with the fact that “adulting” has been turned into a VERB. Like, there’s a workshop on adulting being offered for my fellow millennials.
Yeah, I’m stressed out. I feel like it’s sometimes impossible to find a balance between working, being a mom, being a wife, and making sure the bills are paid and we still have time for fun. Yes, I’m convinced I’m not always doing the best at one or more of those things. But, I still get up every morning and make sure the things get done. Is this how every generation feels, or are we just finally talking about it and attempting to make a change?
I know I’m not alone in this. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way on an almost-daily basis. I also acknowledge that I create most of the pressure myself. So, do I post a sparkly bubble bath on Insta and add #selfcare and #treatyoself to the description? Or, do I “suck it up” as the generations before us apparently did without complaining? If you have an answer hit me up, because I’m #stressedaf, #notsorryboutit, and being zen is currently #goals.
Nancy
Welcome back to blogging! I totally understand that there are a lot of things we need to tend to. I didn’t know there was a workshop on adulating! Hope you’ll find that perfect balance between being a mom, wife, working woman, and everything else! I think we all need to treat ourself to something nice after powering through something. I always turn to retail happy for a cure XD.
Christine
Same! I’m all about treating myself, but I also just wish there wasn’t so much pressure to “do it all” regardless. We all need to take some time out to breathe, but it’s hard! And that’s why there is online shopping, lol.
Georgie
I feel like this is just the way things have turned out, and let’s face it – millennials are also awesome, as well as every other nasty adjective the baby boomers throw at us. Look how many of out there are making a difference and kicking ass. It’s no wonder we’re stressed out – it’s not just the expectation but the competition around us. And also the fact that many millennials would not be seen dead in a less-than-perfect state. A lot of people are struggling the way you are, but they just don’t show it.
There’s a lot on your plate and to me it sounds like you’re doing your best with what you’ve got. You’re your own superwoman 🙂 Self-care is so important and if you’re stressed and your mental health is on a low, make sure that gets prioritised first 💕 And make sure your family understands that too. If they want you to be awesome, you have to be in good health again for that to happen.
Christine
I went against my normal “planned” blog and kind of stream of consciousness wrote this. I just felt like it needed to be put out there into the universe. Our generation wants to master it all and totally has to deal with the backlash from our elders who did it “better”, am I right? It took me a while, but I’m definitely starting to make self care a regular thing. I used to think it was selfish. Not any more!
Jane
I rather like that “adulting” is a verb, because a lot of what makes it up is what I was never taught to do—along with many of my peers. I never learned how to take care of myself, for example, in terms of hygiene. It wasn’t until these last couple of years that I developed good hygiene habits and learned how to go grocery shopping, for example. So…to me, I feel like it’s more that we are talking about it about. I look at the classes and think, “Finally. Someone sees and understands the issues we’re having!”
It’s definitely something more people need to talk about. Older generations call us so many things, and like Georgie said, we are all of those things—but what I feel most affected by is the slurs thrown at millennials who advocate for greener products and methods. Like, I can’t go to the grocery store with a reusable bag without someone rolling their eyes at me and/or shaking their head. If they’re feeling especially daring, they say, “What is it with kids these days who think we need to bring our own bags? You all want to save the planet, but it’s not dying. What, do you also believe in global warming?”
Ah, but I feel stressed, too. Mostly, I feel like all the older generations want us to conform to their ways, but also just “get it”, etc. and suddenly be all “successful” or whatever. Like, I’m not out to my family except for to my cousin, Charlise, and my family seems to think a woman is not the slightest bit successful (or worthy of celebrating her life) until she has a MAN lined up for her. So I spend a lot of my days trying to be straight…and it’s really hard, because I also have other shit to worry over, but my sexuality is definitely a part of my life that stresses me out the most—mostly because, like, what is so attractive about men? I can’t pass anymore. “Oh, yes, he’s so…many,” I say. Apparently not how women check out guys. XD
The other big stress in my life is that I’m expected to suddenly get SOME kind of job with a regular income and instantly be able to get an apartment. And my grandmother supposedly expected to move sometime this month, but there is literally zero talk of it, and she only ever tells me ever so dramatically. Like, I…I feel the older generations have somewhat skated throughout the years building up their privilege and not realizing that, while things around them may’ve gotten better, prices have gone way up and economy is still shit. It goes back to how it seems like they just expect us to “get it” and fall in line and accept it, because we “need to know the value of hard work” even if it kills us slowly.
I hope you’re doing better since having written this and are less stressed!
I also hope I made at least some sense here.
Kirsten
The early millenials like me (early 80’s), I think were lucky enough to still have some of those basics taught to some of us. In school for me at least, not so much at home. My parents never really required much of me. They didn’t really stick with chores and things that I was accountable for in my teenage years to teach me a little responsibility and life lessons other then babysitting.
Adulting is stressfull! I know even after years of being out on my own and now being married I still have a hard time sometimes with getting things done, controlling my stress levels, dealing with work stress and home life stress. Self care and treating yourself are important, after all how can you take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself first.
Millenials also have in general higher debt then the generations that came before us. Everything is more expensive, we are pushed into buying houses, cars and other things that are “required” to eek out an existence it seems on this planet we call home.
I think those stresses are going to be even greater for our children however, debt is going to be passed down, things are just going to keep getting more and more expensive and people are just going to want more and more things. Sure some millenials are pushing for greener products and methods and hopefully they will continue to make a difference and pass that along to their children as well.
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