What I’d Tell Myself as a New Mom

No one really talks about that, do they? When you feel isolated in your own home and despite being head over heels in love with your new baby you feel like you lost a little part of yourself, too. Now that I’m coming up on Leo’s first birthday (cue the ugly crying), I’ve been reflecting back on the past year a lot, especially since some of my friends are joining the mom club. In short, it’s the world’s best sorority with the cruelest, most grueling hazing you’ve ever experienced. When you have no idea what you’re doing, and a little person who depends on you also has no idea what they’re doing things can get overwhelming quickly. I still put a lot of pressure on myself to “do it all,” but here’s what I’d tell myself a year ago with what I know now:

  • Get off the damn couch (for sleeping that is!). No one should be sleeping sitting up.
  • Get in bed. With your baby. Cribs are stupid and overrated.
  • Spend the money on the nursing bras. You’ll be happy you did!
  • Put that baby on the boob and let everyone else wait on you.
  • Stop with the schedules! When baby needs to eat, they need to eat!
  • Everyone will give you advice. Accept it graciously and then do what you want.
  • Stop trying to cook dinner until they are at least 6 months old and can sit in a high chair.
  • Cleaning? Cool. Ok.
  • Pajamas are pants for the fourth trimester.
  • Anything you or your husband/baby daddy/partner say to each other between the hours of 2-4am does not count.

I’m probably forgetting a few things, but the most important thing I’d tell new Mom me is to do what feels right for your family regardless of what anyone says. If everyone is safe, happy, fed, and loved tell the haters where they can go.

3 thoughts on “What I’d Tell Myself as a New Mom

  1. HAHAHA.

    Charlise sleeps with her babies! I don’t know if she even has a crib, but…yeah. And that’s how the baby goes to sleep. I don’t know wherein the BS idea for babies to be left alone during the night/sleep time came from, because…the way babies’ brains work is that they haven’t yet come to understand that their mother/this person they’re attached to and depend on isn’t flat-out abandoning them, and gfhjkgjklfdkl ugh so much that doesn’t make sense, LOL.

    Pretty sure no pants are the best pants, though I’m guessing you had to leave the house. :/ There’s a running joke between some people offline and I, i.e. I’m all, “You can come over unannounced, but I’m not putting on pants for you.” (There is also “Yeah, you can drop by, but don’t think I’m putting on a bra just because your [insert significant other here] is coming, too” because people get mad about that. :s And I just don’t care, haha.

    “Put that baby on the boob and let everyone else wait on you.”

    HAHAHA.

    Wow. I’m not a fan of mom bloggers (I don’t even read Charlise’s posts, really), but~ I like yours. ?

  2. “Anything you or your husband/baby daddy/partner say to each other between the hours of 2-4am does not count.”

    YES. Things got a lot easier once I let the nighttime stuff go. That is one piece of advice I don’t think I’ve ever seen listed but it was definitely on MY list.

    Laid back nursing is another big one I tell new moms. Fuck the cradle hold! When Zeke was born I knew what I was doing. Not only did we fight to get discharged ASAP (19 hours from check-in to home!) but I also ditched the hospital bed for the guest bed so that I could nurse him lying on my side and actually sleep. First hospital birth was OK but second was awful. If I have a third (I hope I hope) it will be at home – Probably whether I plan it or not. First labor was 6 hours, second was 4.

    Happy to see what you write about as time goes on. It’s hard to tell where a blog is going with only a few posts, especially if they cover multiple topics. No idea of what the balance will be. (Same reason I’m having trouble launching!) I’m excited to see more here!

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